Following hard on the heels of my successes in predicting New Hampshire and Iowa, here's my predictions for tomorrow. Aren't some of these caucuses? I don't even remember:
Arizona:
First: Kerry, Clark tie
Second: Dean. No other delegates
Joementum and a sheet of paper saying "Congratulations" with Sharpton's name crossed out and his name added in spelled wrong: Lieberman
Delaware:
First: Kerry
Second: Dean, Lieberman tie. Joementum in action. Possible side effects include dry mouth, dizziness, insomnia, drowsiness, loss of higher motor functions. If any of these side effects persist for more than a day please discontinue use of Joementum and consult a physician.
Fourth: Clark, no delegates though.
Missouri:
First: Kerry
Second: Edwards
Third: Dean, but he misses delegates by 20 people, who got high and forgot to go vote.
New Mexico:
First: Kerry
Close Second to be spun as a crushing defeat by news media: Dean
Close Third ignored by media: Clark, no other delegates
Close Sixth to be claimed as a six way tie: Al Sharpton, but he was just making fun of 7th place Lieberman
North Dakota:
First: Clark, which will be a coup. Someone at dKos will point out that as North Dakota goes so goes the nation and Bush is stupid.
Second: Kerry
Third: Edwards, no other delegates
Oklahoma:
First: Clark
Second by a hair: Edwards
Third: Kerry, no one else even gets in the double digits for base five.
South Carolina:
First: Edwards, landslide like, in fact. The News Media will be running with the meme "South Carolina is for shit for Dems" though.
Second: Kerry
Third: Sharpton, no delegates. The News Media points out that "South Carolina is for shit for Dems".